Tuesday, August 5, 2008
According to the media, there aren't enough jellyfish in the sea! No, wait, there are too many jellyfish in the sea!
Either way, it's a sign of the ocean's decline, the end of the world as we know it and the pervasive nastiness of mankind.
The pro-jelly Lebanon Daily Star says:
While this may be a welcome change for surf lovers, it has caused great concern to environmental organizations and activists involved in preserving marine life.
The diminishing presence of jellyfish has had a negative impact on biological diversity in the Mediterranean waters, marine experts warn.
What would we do without experts? Meanwhile, the expert jelly-haters at the NY Times say:
"These jellyfish near shore are a message the sea is sending us saying, 'Look how badly you are treating me,' " said Dr. Josep-MarĂa Gili, a leading jellyfish expert, who has studied them at the Institute of Marine Sciences of the Spanish National Research Council in Barcelona for more than 20 years.
The explosion of jellyfish populations, scientists say, reflects a combination of severe overfishing of natural predators, like tuna, sharks and swordfish; rising sea temperatures caused in part by global warming; and pollution that has depleted oxygen levels in coastal shallows.
In both cases, jellies are a sign of how man is victimizing the ocean. It doesn't matter if there are too many jellies, or too few. In both cases, we're wrong. The Times says:
The Mediterranean? But Lebanon is on the Mediterranean, and they don't have enough jellies. The angry expert/activists at the Daily Star retort:
While the angry activists at the Times say:
Then there is pollution, which reduces oxygen levels and visibility in coastal waters. While other fish die in or avoid waters with low oxygen levels, many jellyfish can thrive in them. And while most fish have to see to catch their food, jellyfish, which filter food passively from the water, can dine in total darkness, according to Dr. Purcell's research.
..and, like everything else that happens on the planet, from hurricanes to Annie Lamott's hot flashes, this is all the fault of George Bush global warming.
However, the Times admits that:
Maybe the problem isn't the oversupply or undersupply of jellyfish - it's the undersupply of common sense and the oversupply of experts and activists.
Well which ever way it is, it's bound to be Israel's fault!