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In case you were thinking of enjoying the approaching spring season with its golden daffodils and balmy afternoons, think again. If you're a Proper Progressive, you'll put away those thoughts of banishing winter and concentrate on yes, you guessed it -- destroying Israel. Because according to Phyllis Bennis' End the Occupation website, it's Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Action Month! Dust off your keffiyahs, collect your magic markers and poster boards, get some fresh batteries for your bullhorns and let's get those Jews!

Number one on the agenda is boycott. And where does a proper progressive go to boycott? Where else? The Islamic Republic of Harvard Square. Because there's a T-Mobile store there. If you thought that the PP's ("Proper Progressives") were focused on Caterpillar tractors and the passion of Rachel Corrie, think again. You see, Saint Rachel is still high in the pantheon of Progressive Saints, but the focus has shifted to Motorola. Why Motorola? According to PP propaganda, "Motorola products directly contribute to Israeli Apartheid: Bomb fuses used against civilians by the IDF and Surveillance Devices for Israel's Illegal Wall and Settlements." Of course, what Israeli cellphones really contributed to in the recent Gaza offensive, was their use as a warning device to Palestinian civilians to evacuate certain areas prior to the IDF's battles with Hamas. Israeli cellphones probably saved hundreds of innocent lives. Who knows whether the brand used was Motorola, Blackberry, LG -- you take your pick. But for the PP's of Harvard Square, the T-Mobile store seemed like a convenient rallying point. Sadly, for the sagging, graying, keffiyah sporting brigade, not many passersby understood or cared about their whacko protest, judging from the throngs packed into the cell phone store. Nor did the employees of the store get it. The one kid I asked laughed and said, "What the hell is going on out there?" And judging from the brisk sales of cell phones, customers couldn't have cared less either.

Why the sudden shift from boycotting Caterpillar Tractors to Motorola? That's an easy one. You see, Caterpillar was the target after Rachel Corrie was tragically and accidentally run over while she was guarding a smuggling tunnel in Gaza in 2003 and for six years has been the cause célèbre of the PP's. Beginning a year ago, however, the assault on Caterpillar hit a snag: Palestinians have been using tractors to deliberately kill Jewish civilians in Jerusalem, the latest attempt occurring a week ago, fortunately resulting in only the death of the would-be killer who was found with an open Koran in the tractor's cab. To date, three Jews have been killed by Palestinian tractor drivers.

A continuing boycott of Caterpillar would inevitably be forced to recognize the deliberate use of tractors by Palestinians as murder weapons -- and that would never do -- to tell the truth about a Progressively sainted people. And so the PP's quietly downplay Caterpillar.

So it's on to Motorola. And when that myth is exploded, they'll be on to Burger King, General Electric or Preparation H.