So I've got these woods behind my house. More of a wetland/jungle actually. I tought it might be nice to walk down there and see where some of the wildlife that's wandered into my yard of late comes from - trouble being that it's pretty tough to walk in there with all the overgrown vegetation.

Well, I've been to the movies and know what to do. I'll get me a machete!

Visions of me, shirt off, hacking through the undergrowth machete in hand dancing through my head, I drive on over to the local Sears Hardware.

And there it is, the object of my desire a machete not unlike this one:

Yeah baby. That's the stuff!

Home we go, sharp steel in hand. I'll be cutting a swath of destruction through Mother Nature in no time! Maybe I should do a few bicep curls to build some arm strength first so I can really do the job!?

Then, disaster strikes. I turn the package over to open it up, and what do I see on the back label, but this:

Noooo! WTF? How am I supposed to get my man-thing on after seeing that image? That's not me. That old lady can't possible use an instrument of destruction like this bad-boy! Damnit. I mean, the '18"' part is somehow still appealing, but that image! The moment is gone.

I'll still go down and whack some weeds I suppose, but it just won't be the same.