Thursday, October 21, 2004
That smoke you see rising is the effect one gets when a yellowjacket falls into a halogen lamp. The smell created is akin to burning food on the stove, or overcooking the toast. We've smelled it many a time.
You see we have a bee's nest in our living room wall. The bees were in there last year, coming and going through a small gap between the shingles outside. At the end of the season I got up there and nailed the hole shut, hoping that would solve the problem.
It didn't, they're back this year, this time entering and exiting through other, smaller holes. I have found that none of the household poisons marked for hornets, wasps and yellowjackets does a damn thing against bees. They just eat it like candy. Hell, they probably build their combs out of it for all know. I've sprayed loads of it into their entrances. As far as I know, the only sure way to get rid of them is to open up the wall and get them out - a major carpentry job I'm not prepared for. [If anyone knows of any poisons that actually work, please let me know.]
So we have been suffering with them on occasion - quite often, actually - coming inside the house through nearly invisible cracks along the ceiling and windows. They're always logy, and easily swatted, or in my case I use a wad of toilet paper to just clamp down on them and flush them down the crapper. Buh bye. They're coming in in greater numbers now that it's getting cold outside. My wife says she killed thirty today.
Not infrequently, they make the mistake of buzzing over and landing on the halogen...resulting in incineration. Muhahah...MuhahaHAHAHAHA.
I have received this letter from an Iraqi concerned citizen, who wishes to remind U.S. voters of the historic importance of their choice on November 2. (Hat Tip Samizdata)
Dear voter,
I am an elderly man. Under the Clinton administration I had an excellent well-paid job. I took many vacations and had several holiday homes. Since President Bush took office my life has completely changed, and in every respect for the worse.
I lost my job.
I lost both my sons in the terrible Iraqi war. I lost my homes. I lost my medical insurance. In fact, I lost practically all of my possessions and found myself homeless.
Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living in bestial conditions, far from helping me, they arrested me.
I shall do whatever Senator Kerry wishes to ensure that a Democrat is returned to the White House next year. Bush must go!
There. I thought that all Americans would like to know what a man of my years thinks of the Bush administration.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Best wishes,
Saddam Hussein
Dude, the bee eradication is not that major of a carpentry job. WE can do it, as long as YOU pay for it. Opening up the wall is the best way to go, cuz those f-ers are in their f-ing up your wood.
Lets do it.
Also...what's up with that Mal guy? His posts in your comments sections are often not on point. I don't get it. What does an unfunny letter from Saddam Hussein have to do with bees? Obviously nothing. wtf?
Heh...hey, mal's just giving me pointers to stuff. Off topic on the posts, but on for the blog. I appreciate the interest (although you could email 'em, too, mal).
Well, come over and take a look at the situation and tell me what you think we can do. Hiring a carpenter is out, but if it's something we can do easily I'll consider it.
Are these "bees" or "wasps"? Or hornets? I thought yellowjackets were wasps
I guess they're technically wasps, but they're all bees to me.
THIS IS SO STUPID!!!!!!!! THERE ARE NO BEES IN YOUR HOME U FREAKIN RETARTEDS!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, we have the same problem... Hornets have invaded aour walls via a part in the roof with a hole in it that the lazy builders didnt fix after we pointed it out a million times
now they have chewed through the drywall making a fist size hole in the guest bedroom closet.
The first night we found out, i stood outside the guest bedroom killing over 20
i would hit them with a flyswatter as they headed to the hall light
then, as they where stunned, i'd leap though the air with a trusty pari of sizors only to come down with a satisfying decapitation
haven't been stung yet. fun stuff