Defense officials say that the Donald H. Rumsfeld-John McCain relationship, never the closest or friendliest, really soured at a private meeting the two had last summer.

The strong-willed defense secretary and the equally hard-nosed Republican senator from Arizona, both ex-Navy pilots and hawks on Iraq, were supposed to make peace over two nagging issues.

Mr. McCain did not believe Mr. Rumsfeld was adequately paying attention to, or disclosing information about, the Boeing tanker lease scandal; Mr. Rumsfeld wanted Mr. McCain to lift his opposition to several Pentagon nominations bogged down in the Senate.

Rather than serving as a peacemaker, the meeting turned into a frank exchange of views that left both men bitter toward the other, according to two defense sources who were briefed later.

"It went very badly," said one source. "Rumsfeld brought over McCain to schmooze him. It didn't work."

The sources differed on the exact wording, but they agreed that when Mr. Rumsfeld was unable to persuade the Arizona Republican to let the nominees go forward, he suggested the senator, a prisoner of war in Vietnam, was hurting the war effort.

"This is when McCain just about climbed over the table," one source said.

A spokeswoman for the senator did not return phone messages...