I decide to infiltrate a white supremacist hate group by posing as an eager new recruit, a new hater, if you will. I want to put a face on extreme hate, to find out the hobbies of haters, what haters find hot and what haters find not. I want to learn what someone in a hate group really loooooooves. Ice cream? Everyone loves ice cream. I love ice cream. Maybe hate groups love ice cream, too?

So Many Hate Groups, So Little Time

I go online, trolling for hate groups. Who knew there was so much organized hate around? Which one to choose? Why, there's the Aryan Nation, the World Church of the Creator, and the National Socialist Movement, not to mention the White Aryan Resistance, the White Power Liberation Front, and, of course, the kooky and lovable Ku Klux Klan.

After sending out many e-mails under the pseudonym of hater-to-be Hal Haterman, I find my hate group. And believe me, it's a good one! Its Web site rails on about "the Negroid filth churned out by MTV and the other Jewish promoters of anti-White music intended to demoralize, corrupt, and deracinate young Whites." My, someone's panties are certainly in a bundle.

It gets better. The founder of the organization wrote a whopper of a book that's an awesome detailed blueprint for race war and is credited with inspiring young Timothy McVeigh to bomb the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. Hurrah for hate!

Since this group is not known for displaying a great sense of humor, and in order to protect the innocent (namely me), I won't use the hate group's name. I really wouldn't enjoy it if the next time one of them saw me, it was through the scope of a rifle. (Cut me some slack; I mean, these guys do hate for a living and they seem particularly to hate Jews in the media. Gulp.) And then there's my carefully thought-out public-interest reason for not naming the group: Inevitably, sick people will read this story and want to join the cause. I don't want to make that easy...